外ジョーダン 002: The Hidden Kojima Konbini
On finding the best Kojima Productions merch in Tokyo (in a random-ass FamilyMart), Johnny Sasaki's bowel movements, Metal Deer, and the time Limmy read my article on stream (derogatory).
Welcome to 外ジョーダン 002! Today, we’re talking about that most bank-balance-destroying of pastimes: locating and purchasing niche video game merch. But before I blow up this somewhat secret spot and show you the (literal) goods, here’s a little bit of La-Li-Lu-Le-Lore.
Tactical Fanboy Action
My first Kojima game was Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, which came out in 2008, when I was 13. I probably shouldn’t have been playing it at that age, but I had spent so much time watching E3 conferences, imbibing magazine previews (remember those?) and reading people argue about Metal Gear Solid on internet forums that I gravitated towards it regardless.
To be fair, it’s not all high-concept politics and weaponised trauma — at one point, Johnny Sasaki has to take a shit in the middle of an active warzone. That’s funny stuff if you’re a stupid teenager like I was, and to some degree still am. This led me towards the convenient 2011 release of the Metal Gear Solid HD Collection, and so, when Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain rolled around, I was a zealous, stripes-earned fan, feverishly poring through theorycrafting threads. Remember Joakim Mogren and Moby Dick Studio? Man, what a time to be alive. That E3 trailer soundtracked by Mike Oldfield’s Nuclear still gives me frisson.
When Death Stranding appeared on the horizon — that’s a Decima Engine joke — I (somehow) managed to wrangle the opportunity to review the game for a UK newspaper, despite being, at the time, a nobody rookie in the games media.
Nowadays, if you type ‘Death Stranding Ending Explained’ in Google, you’ll probably end up reading my words — Limmy certainly did, at least for a little bit, until he found that I had failed to provide a concise summary of what I would consider to be one of the most unsummarizable games of all time. He’s got me there. But the main thing is that I tried!
Last year, I reviewed the sequel, Death Stranding 2: On The Beach, right here on Postmode, and since then, I’ve written jokes for David Hayter (particularly one where he said ‘Metal Deer’ during the Future Games Show, which unintentionally became a meme…).
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I also interviewed KJP Art Director Yoji Shinkawa for The Washington Post a few years ago, as part of a big feature on the intersection of games and fashion. The piece discussed the art of creating good video game merch via KJP’s in-game & IRL collaboration with my favourite technical fashion brand, ACRONYM. How’s that for a convenient, entirely relevant segue towards the subject of the rest of this newsletter?
The Man Who Delivers (To FamilyMart)
The Kojima Productions FamilyMart is located on the fifth floor of the UDX building in Akihabara. I’ve added it to my evolving Tokyo Spots Google Maps list, for your convenience. There is another Kojima Konbini on the third floor of Shinagawa Season Terrace (which is the same building where Kojima Productions is headquartered), but I’d hedge my bets that you’re more likely to end up in Akihabara than Shinagawa during a visit to Tokyo, especially if you have even a passing interest in video games.
This particular FamilyMart is one of the company’s boutique locations (hence the upmarket branding), so it looks a bit different from the konbinis you’re used to out on the street. It’s also in the middle of a busy office building, so it felt a bit strange to be here to buy video game merchandise while everyone was suited and booted, taking meetings and having their lunch.
But don’t be afraid! Ultimately, it’s just got wooden floors and bottles of imported Solán de Cabras, and this is irrelevant to our sneaking mission. If you head to the far side near the window, you’ll find a sizable branded section that, for my money, offers the best selection of Kojima Productions merch you can find in Tokyo.
Per the tweet above, this location appears to have been selling KJP kit in some capacity since 2016, which is before Death Stranding even launched, so this seems like a long-term collaboration! The last time I saw a spread like this was at the Death Stranding 5th Anniversary pop-up, held at Osaka Parco in February of last year.
Anyway, here’s the ‘Hidden Kojima Konbini’ selection up close:
As well as full-blown models of the DHV Magellan, there are Death Stranding 2 faction T-shirts, and rolls of replica warning tape from the in-game cargo (great for making sure no one touches your suitcase; I have some on mine from the collectors’ edition of the first game). You can also find postcards, stickers, notepads, patches and a bunch of gacha centred on BB pods, Ludens variants, and other Death Stranding-related tchotchkes. There’s a lot of stuff here, and it's priced fairly, too.
Me personally? I bought a ‘From Sapiens to Ludens’ Trucker Cap, and a glow-in-the-dark rubber ducky to keep me safe when I go for a bath in the dark. Even though I don’t ever do that, because why would you? Regardless, please feast your eyes on my newly rehomed radioactive tub companion.
⋆♪(oᐛ)o～(BGM)♬┏(・o･)┛✧𝄞˚𓍢ִ໋🎧ྀི⋆♫⋆(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ
I discovered Mechatok through his work with Bladee, but this song, 200, where he chops up the vocals of Japanese rapper Tohji, is a melancholy earworm I keep drifting towards when I’m on the train home at night. The video features additional visuals by sk8thing of Cav Empt, too, if the concept wasn’t cool enough already.
Alright, that’s me. We’re nearly at 100 subs since launching earlier this week — genuinely flattered! So, if you know anyone else who might enjoy this, please share it. Thanks for reading, and please look forward to the next 外ジョーダン.